How to Choose the Groomsmen and Best Man For Your Wedding
Choosing the groomsmen and best man for your wedding can be difficult. If you come from a big family, then you may have a hard time narrowing down the list. You want the most important people to be included, but you also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings in the process.
If you come from a small family, you may feel like you don’t have enough people to fill out your bridal party. This can be especially stressful if the bride has her heart set on a higher number of bridesmaids. The following will help you plan your bridal party so that everyone is happy.
Talk to the Bride About Wedding Party Numbers
The first thing you should do is talk to your fiancé about how many people should be in your wedding party. This is something you should both come to an agreement on and should be done before you say anything to any potential groomsmen.
Share your expectations then discuss it from there. You may need to compromise if she wants more or fewer on each side. This is not something that the bride or groom should dictate, but rather something that you should agree to as a couple.
The stereotypical wedding usually has a balanced bridal party. That means there are the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen plus one maid of honor and one best man. While it looks nice because you can create symmetry at the ceremony, there are other options.
If you are struggling to agree on a headcount, it’s ok to consider an unbalanced wedding party. For example, if you want three groomsmen and she wants more bridesmaids, then you could always have some participants walk down the aisle alone or have one groomsman walk with two bridesmaids. The reverse can also work, with one bridesmaid walking with two groomsmen. Simply adjust as needed so that you both are happy with the final arrangement.
Remember to factor in your final count when budgeting your wedding. You will need to buy bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts for everyone. The more people participating, the more you’ll need to spend.
Reliability and Personalities Are Important
Once you have the numbers worked out, it’s time to make your list of potential groomsmen. Before you do this, you should consider what it takes to participate in a wedding. You should ask people who you know are reliable. They will have certain tasks and events they must attend. If you have someone who is a frequent no-show or terrible at communicating, you may want to skip them.
Dealing with an irresponsible groomsman can cause enormous stress on the day of your wedding. This is especially true when picking out your best man since he typically has even more responsibilities to manage.
Then there are personalities. Do you have a couple of friends who just cannot get along? Then consider if you really want one or both in the bridal party. You do not want the people you rely on to start fighting during a time when you need them to bring their A-game.
Also, consider who is an active part of your life right now. You may have an old grade school friend you were fond of, but are they truly a part of your life as an adult? Our social circles tend to change as we grow, and that’s ok. Remember to include the people who are currently active in your life.
Who Should I Ask First?
You probably have a shortlist of people you consider close. The following will help you prioritize who to ask first when finalizing your bridal party.
- Your Siblings
Siblings are usually the first place to start. These are the people you likely grew up with and, even if you didn’t always get along, you share your background and family history. If you have siblings who are much younger than you, you can still include them by asking them to participate as junior ushers.
- Your Closest Friends
Next, consider your closest friends. For some, best friends are just as close as siblings. If you know that you can count on them, they might be a great choice for your bridal party.
- Your Cousins
Cousins are another group to consider when choosing your groomsmen. Some cousins are very close, which makes them an easy choice. Not all families are the same, so it’s important to decide what works best for you.
- Your Fiancé’s Family
If you are close to your fiancé’s family, then you may know some people on their side that you would like to ask. You aren’t required to do this, but it is an option.
While most people think of men as groomsmen and women as bridesmaids, it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s your wedding, and you can have a female groomsman or male bridesmaid if you or your spouse-to-be want.
Asking Someone to Be Your Groomsman
If the people you choose to ask are close to you, there’s a good chance that they will say yes to being in your wedding. Just keep in mind that if someone says no, it may not be for personal reasons. It could be that the person knows they don’t have the money to do the things they will need to do for you. Or their schedule may not allow them the extra time to participate in wedding planning and preparation.
Be understanding and available to discuss things if your potential groomsman has questions or concerns. And be sure to include best man and groomsmen gifts in your budget. Visit Groomsmen Gift Store to find the perfect keepsake for the people who help make your big day a big success!